How to Help Your Empath Kid: 6 Things You Can Say to Make Growing Up Easier
by Tara Meyer-Robson
Is your child sensitive to noise and light? Are they bullied or called “crybaby,” “wuss,” or “wimp”? Are they constantly saving animals, insects, and people? Are they inconsolable when they watch something sad or violent?
Your child may not be just a highly sensitive kid; he or she may be an Empath.
An Empath is a person who experiences others’ feelings as their own. This is different from just caring about another person; an Empath actually feels others’ sadness, pain, worry, or even physical ailments in their own bodies. More often than not, the child doesn’t know why they are feeling as they do; they just know it doesn’t feel good.
In day to day life, this means that an Empath kid may suddenly get a headache or stomach ache when around a certain person, but it goes away as soon as they leave. Or they may become very shaky or go into a screaming fit seemingly at nothing, but they are actually reacting to the overload of other’s emotions they’ve picked up throughout the day.
Because they don’t know that they are soaking in all this like giant feeling-sponges, they have no idea what’s really bothering them and can’t articulate it to you. An Empath child or teen will often feel completely overwhelmed and think that something must be really wrong with them because none of their other friends seem to feel so deeply.
It’s exhausting. It’s isolating. And for many Empaths kids, it can be such a burden that it develops into anxiety disorders, stomach issues, and depression.
Worse, as a mom, you may not know what to say to make it better, especially if you are not an Empath.
Here are 6 things you can say to your Empath child that will help them feel accepted, loved, and supported:
1. You’re not weird.
The best data I can find indicates that about 3% of the population is a true Empath. In a class of 30 kids, that means you might be the only Empath. This makes you special, not weird.
2. You’re not crazy either.
Feeling other’s pain is not a mental illness. It is not something to be medicated. It is the core of who you are, and once you understand that, you can learn to live with it, honor it, and even use it in your life for good.
3. People don’t feel things as deeply as you, so they may not understand.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a TV show, movie, YouTube clip, or even book, you’ll empathize so strongly with anyone in pain (human or animal), that you’ll be unable to watch what others can. You may feel very alone or misunderstood because of this, but know that it’s okay to say that you can’t or don’t want to watch things that are upsetting to you. I may not feel as deeply as you do and may be able to watch those things, but that doesn’t mean that I feel that you should be able to. It’s not your job to convince me or anyone else of the reality of how you feel.
4. It’s okay that you try to help anything that is in pain.
I know that you are going to save worms from the sidewalk, lost puppies from the road, and try to make all of us feel better when we are sad. I know you can’t handle other kids being teased or when people are angry around you.
And I know you sometimes feel like a total alien because you cannot understand how others are so mean and uncaring.
You’re not an alien; you just feel the suffering of others as your own pain, and you need to make it stop. That’s a really good and important quality, but it can be very exhausting, too.
5. People may make fun of you or bully you because you’re sensitive.
People make fun of things they don’t understand. That’s just a fact. However, know this: Feeling deeply does not make you weak; it makes you strong because you are willing to feel the pain and do something about it. In fact, you are likely to be the kid that stands up for other kids who are being bullied, which often turns the bully on you. That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or that you are unlovable. You are lovable and perfectly okay as you are.
6. It’s okay to set healthy boundaries and stand up for yourself.
You do not have to take other people bullying you. You also do not have to save everyone all the time. It’s okay for you to say “no” when you are tired or just can’t do any more. It’s okay that you need time to be alone; this allows you to recharge your batteries.
If you need help with this, you tell me. I’m your mom and we will work together to help you feel happy and safe.
Are there other things you’ve told your Empath kid that have helped them cope? I’d love to hear them!
About the Author: Tara Meyer-Robson is CEO and founder of The Empowered Empath Academy, the leading online training program that gives Empaths the help, coaching, and resources they need to go from being overwhelmed to empowered. In 2007, Tara developed The Flow Method, a program that transforms the mind, body, life and spirit with one personal process. She’s the author of the award-winning book The Flow Method: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation.
Tara is an internationally-respected coach and speaker, and uses her own Empath nature as a gift throughout her work, helping others to heal. Find out more about being Tara’s work and take the Empath Test here: www.TaraMeyerRobson.com. Follow Tara on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google+.
