Don’t Curse the Mirror, it’s Partly Your Fault
by Cinda Chatfield, B.A.
We’ve all been there. Staring in the mirror the morning of January 1st, confetti in our hair and champagne on our breaths, wondering what changes we should make to improve ourselves this year. While aiming for healthier lifestyles or better jobs are all great resolutions to make, let’s try making one with a more lasting, loving affect! I propose that for the new year, we all aim for new begnnings in our homes and with our families. How can we strive to create a more peaceful home environment? A key foundation is making sure there is a mutual respect, honesty and communication between you and your partner or spouse! One way of doing this is finding ways to constantly remind each other how much you value him or her. Have you ever thought about the little things in life that bring a smile to your face? It’s the spontaneous smile from a stranger, the wink your significant other gives you across the room or the unexpected hug a child shares with you.
Whether you’re nurturing a romantic relationship, friendship or family relationship; respect, honesty and communication are “The 3 Keys” in ensuring a positive outcome. Maintaining a positive attitude and implementing a proactive plan within your personal life will increase the likelihood of success in many areas. There are many factors in maintaining a healthy lifestyle such as nutrition, exercise, sleep, social and emotional outlets to name a few. Our New Year’s resolution for you is to remember and implement “The 3 Keys” in every aspect of life’s daily journey. By utilizing simple strategies to decrease your stress level and increase your inner strength, peace and motivation; you may further develop and/or strengthen your current relationships or develop new ones you desire and deserve.
When I think about when I’ve been the happiest, it’s not the trip to Paris with my husband, David (although it was romantic) or the diamond necklace he surprised me with for my birthday. The happiest times are when he grabs me unexpectedly, kisses me and tells me how beautiful I am. Other times he will tell me what a wonderful mom I am and how much he appreciates me. It’s so much more meaningful, because he says or does these things unexpectedly and only when he’s truly feeling it. It’s rare that David will show up with flowers for my birthday or Valentines Day, although he frequently gives me flowers on a Monday or Thursday just because he feels like it. The chocolates are saved for the impulsive craving I might get late at night or as a surprise during a weekend away. The gifts I receive for birthdays and holidays are unique and thoughtful. Usually, the gifts are personal and well thought out like a day for myself to sleep late, get a massage and watch my favorite movie for the fifth time. Sometimes he will remember something I noticed in a store from months before and will surprise me with it. When I decided to start writing, he surprised me with a mini lap top computer so I could keep it in my purse and write whenever the mood hit me.
I too reinforce my love and appreciation for David regularly, although it’s demonstrated in different forms. When I notice David is having an exceptionally challenging day, I will take his face in my hands look in his eyes and thank him for working so hard to support our family. Occasionally I send him romantic or humorous cards in the mail to his office. Sometimes I put little notes in his wallet, shoe or car for him to find throughout the day. Every year I add a new picture to his wallet when he’s not looking. David is a creature of habit when it comes to lunch. For as long as I can remember if he is out during lunch time he will go to Wendy’s and buy a salad and Diet Coke and will eat in his car while listening to his audio book. Once in a while I will slip a Wendy’s gift card in his car for him to find and other times a Barnes and Noble gift card in his wallet. Gestures like these are more meaningful and of greater value than any gift you can buy. The effort, attention and detail put into any relationship is worth its weight in gold.
When giving flowers to a significant other, try picking them from a garden and wrapping a silk ribbon around the stems. If you want to buy them, then make it personal and meaningful by buying your partner’s favorite flower or select a flower in their favorite color. Maybe get the same flowers that you had on the table during your first date. Whatever you do, do not buy them on the corner as you’re getting off the freeway! Sorry to those who sell them, but there is nothing special or unique about last a minute meaningless gift. If you have no choice, then buy the flowers off the street then select the best stems from the bunch and place them individually around the house. Place one on a pillow, in a slipper, a robe, in the refrigerator next to the juice or on the counter next to the coffee pot for the morning. There are countless ways to show your partner of spouse that you care and are thinking about them everyday this year!
FINAL THOUGHTS…
Good-bye and hello to another New Year! We have the opportunity for a fresh start! I Love Do-Overs. The opportunity to do the things I never got to last year or want to improve upon. In today’s world, with the increase of stress we are all experiencing, it is crucial that we take care of our families and ourselves first. At the end of the day there is nothing more important than our physical, mental and emotional health. The key to good health is gaining and maintaining the peace, tranquility and balance within our in relationships and ourselves. Whether you’re nurturing a romantic relationship, friendship or family relationship, the key is respect, honesty and communication. Maintaining a positive attitude and implementing a proactive plan within your personal life will increase the likelihood of success in many areas. It’s the New Year! Take this opportunity to decrease your stress level and increase your inner strength, peace and motivation. Don’t we all deserve a Productive, Positive and Peaceful Year? YES we do!
About the Author: Cinda Chatfield has worked for over 15 years as a Child Development Specialist, Parent & Family Educator and Advocate. Cinda is the founder of Chatfield & Company, a collective dedicated to creating a harmonious home environment for parents and children. To find out more visit: chatfieldandcompany.com
