Overcoming Trauma and Challenge – A New Mom’s Story

Dr. Rachel Kleinman is clinical psychologist, a professor, visual artist and mom, and a wife. She helps women across the lifespan – from new moms to grandmothers – with issues that pertain to parenting, care giving, mood disorders – empowering and helping them accomplish their personal goals.

Rachel shares what happened to her personally. She got married and got pregnant. That was pretty much uneventful, but something happened that turned her life completely upside down. After the birth to her first child, when Rachel’s daughter was three months, she was just adjusting to life as a new mom. Coping with whatever any new mom deals with – learning how to bathe, feed, change and just being exhausted, tired and isolated. But then something else happened.

Trust Your Gut When A Diagnosis Feels Wrong

Rachel started to feel very confused. She started to feel dizzy and starting having headaches. Something was really wrong. She couldn’t ignore it even though really wanted to. Being exhausted with spit up all over her, she was really trying to figure out this whole new mom thing. She trusted her gut, knowing something was really wrong. Rachel’s ENT was very quick to label her as having postpartum anxiety. Being a psychologist herself, and actually having experience postpartum blues, she knew that this was not that. She knew was purely neurological.

Rachel tapped into her social network of friends and family. They encouraged her to pursue and reach out for a second opinion. So she did, contacting another ENT who happened to be a neurosurgeon.

Within two weeks of that appointment Rachel was diagnosed with a 2 1/2 cm benign brain tumor call a vestibular schwannoma or an acoustic neuroma. It was awful. She still remembers trying to balance getting an MRI with her daughter’s first vaccinations. It was a very blurry period for her. Six weeks later, she underwent eight hours of neurosurgery followed by a week in Neuro-ICU. She remembers vomiting and being dizzy. She lost hearing in her left ear permanently. It was a very difficult time. Not to mention her mother-in-law was also diagnosed with stage 4, pancreatic cancer.

Overcoming Trauma

But Rachel had her sweet little daughter to look at as she was re-learning how to walk and how to eat, and going to all the outpatient therapy. But it was very difficult. She wanted this time to be special to bond with her daughter, and to enjoy all those first moments that we all get to have as new mothers. Instead she had to hire a lot of help. She had a lot of reservation about doing so, but knew she wasn’t capable of doing it herself. But the one thing she knew was that she needed to be strong. She was giving her daughter a mommy. That they could go through anything. So they could go through life together.

Facing Life’s Challenges

That was a very difficult time. Often times in life we get thrown curveballs… whether it’s your health or loss of job; or even the loss of spouse, child or another important family member. But what you have to do is buckle up, get in the driver seat and push the gas hard. You need to trust your gut. Get a second opinion or third or even a fourth opinion. You need to stay strong. You push yourself and learn to trust yourself.

Rachel’s message to you is be an advocate. Be an advocate for yourself, be an advocate for your family member. You never know when you’re going to be thrown into the role of being a role model. The world needs good models. Be one, learn how to be one, especially if your family relies on you. And move past your trauma.

About Dr. Rachel Kleinman: Rachel J Kleinman, Psy.D. is a Psychologist who works with emerging adults and older adults in individual and group therapy at her practice in Great Neck, NY. Dr. Kleinman has been a member of the Department of Behavioral Sciences at City University of New York since 2013. As an Adjunct Assistant Professor, she teaches Psychology of Aging, Life Span Development, and Introduction to Psychology at multiple CUNY campuses. View her artwork on Instagram: @snyderoriginal

Music: www.bensound.com