2015: The Year of the Techy Toddlers
I know you’ve seen them too. That beautiful family out in public, at the beach, the park, the mall or a restaurant. I can’t help but notice the love that emanates from them, so once again, I wonder why they’re so close in proximity… yet so disconnected! Recently, I observed the portrait of “modern-day family-time”: Dad on his laptop, kids playing on iPads, and mom talking on her smartphone. Please people, I encourage you to step away from your devices and spend quality time with the people in front of you!
Common sense would lead you to believe that when you take your family out for an afternoon or an evening; you would actually engage and enjoy each other’s company. But more and more, families appear to be “isolated-together” as each member devotes hefty amounts of energy to whatever electronic device is in front of them. I’ve actually observed, as I’m sure many of you have, that techy toys are in the hands of toddlers, children, teenagers and parents. A small part of me hopes that at the very least they are face-timing each other on their phones, as they sit across from one another at their table! I know it sounds old-fashioned to be an advocate for conversation, and trust me, I use my smart-phone and tablet as much as any other mom; however I find the readily decline of human interaction very sad. What happened to a “healthy work-life balance?” Don’t people realize that the lack of human contact, conversation and interaction impacts how we function in relationships now and in the future? Have you ever heard the term “emotionally stunted?” Now we can add on to that and make reference to “socially-emotionally stunted” personalities. Kids model the behavior that they see and experience first-hand. So if we, as parents, are constantly checking our devices for whatever reason, they will grow up thinking its normal to have an electronic appendage.
It’s tempting to profit from our ability to be constantly connected, updated, and working, but I encourage parents to try to leave work at work as much as possible. Just because you can answer an email in the middle of dinner-time, doesn’t mean that you should. It will be tough at first to break the habit, but it will be worth it and eventually your colleagues will learn how to respect your personal, family time.
Remember, the phrase goes “Live In The Moment”, not “SnapChat the moment”. Even at home, I hear of parents having to resort to texting to announce to their kids that dinner is ready. I know it’s tempting to allow your children to play games in the restaurant to keep them quiet, but they can play with each other, which can be fun, silly and memorable! Can you imagine the laughter that engaging with one another could create? Laughing is one of the most natural ways to bring people together on all levels and continue to build relationships, bonds and security. All I’m saying is: set some boundaries! For example, once the food is served and the meal is finished, if the adults want to sit and chat together, then—and only then, would be the opportunity to give the children the last 10 or 15 minutes to play on their iPads or phones.
Technology is here to stay and clearly is an integral part of our daily lives, personally and professionally. It’s actually important to introduce it to your children and teach them proper use. However, teaching boundaries and self-control is equally important, as technology should always come second to making genuine human connections. Trust me, you’ll appreciate the new-found awareness you all will have for one another when the screens are off and the phones put away. Teach your children that a well-rounded life favors moderation in all aspects. While there is an appropriate time to get onto our devices, nothing will compare to the time we get to look into the beautiful faces of our children, spouses and friends. Show your kids how to stop and smell the roses, because you can’t smell them through your phone…yet.
Final Thoughts:
Incorporating appropriate use of technology in your parenting is understandably difficult as it takes up an ever-increasing part of our lives. Instead of teaching your children that technology is “all bad” or “all great”, show them that it is possible to engage with electronics in moderation. Encourage conversation at the dinner table or during the beach trip! Chances are you’ll be surprised at the beautiful or funny gems your children have to say. And yes, you can tweet those gems the second quality time is over. If you have any other questions about parenting or need advice, write me at cinda@chatfieldandcompany(dot)com!
About the Author: Cinda Chatfield has worked for over 15 years as a Child Development Specialist, Parent & Family Educator and Advocate. Cinda is the founder of Chatfield & Company, a collective dedicated to creating a harmonious home environment for parents and children. To find out more visit: chatfieldandcompany.com
