How to Raise a Child In a City That Is Far From Family
I have been living in New York now for 5 years now and I adore it. I’ve wanted to live in New York ever since I was in high school and my love for the city never wears off.
However, since having my daughter Ady I realize how much harder it is not having family around. When I travel back to the UK they all flock to see her (I don’t think they even care about me anymore!) and can never do enough to help. I know that if I want to pop out and run errands or need to go to an appointment, even if I want to grab lunch with friends, that I can make a quick phone call and someone will be there to watch Adrienne.
I know that there are a lot of people in my situation and so from me to you, here the top three things that have helped me:
1. Put yourself out there and make new friends
I am very shy and find making new friends difficult, but I had to learn that if I wanted to meet people I would have to put this aside and just try to put myself out there a bit more. One of the most magical things about pregnancy and motherhood is that women are so kind to one another. You are going through the same things and so you have an immediate connection; I met some wonderful people through my baby groups and I know that you will too. Another good way to meet people is by joining classes or groups, and if your children are older then you can talk to the parents when you drop them off for school.
2. Don’t be afraid to rely on the friends you make
With family you have a lot less guilt about inconveniencing them – for example, I wouldn’t hesitate to call my mom and say “I’m so sick, I cannot cope today, please can you come help me.” When it comes to friends we feel as if we are putting them out or asking too much — but you will be surprised at how untrue this is. My friend and I recently sat down and made a promise to one another that if we were ever in a situation where we needed help we would not think twice about asking. Don’t be afraid, they understand as they’ve been there too and you can always return the favour!
3. Find a good nanny or sitter
Everyone needs a break sometimes, even the best parents in the world. If you are fortunate enough to have a nanny, make sure you find someone you feel thankful to have. I hear so many stories from parents where the nanny just causes more work and anxiety; they are meant to make your life easier, so if it’s not working you should try and find someone else. I am lucky to have had the same nanny since Ady was 4 months old (she is nearly 4 now!) and she is a part of our family. I feel incredibly lucky to have her and I want that for everyone. If a nanny is not within your budget then find some great sitters. Give yourself the ability to have a few hours off and look after yourself – looking after yourself allows you to look after others.
About the Author: Lauren Mansell is the CEO and Founder of Hello Sitter, on-demand childcare app that enables NYC parents to quickly and easily book fully vetted, carefully curated and highly experienced sitters. Lauren was inspired to start Hello Sitter from her own experience sourcing childcare in New York, and is deeply involved in every aspect of the company—from fielding customer service inquiries to writing the company blog to using the app to book sitters for her daughter Ady. She is a firm believer in the importance of me-time and spontaneity for parents and families, and aims to bring flexibility and comfort to parents across New York City with Hello Sitter.
